SCENARIO:  «I'm trying to stay awake on our drive home.»

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Me: "Tell me a story. "

Adam: "Once upon a time, there was an almond. His name was Jordan. Jordan Almond. And he wanted to be the fanciest almond in all the land. So he put on his nicest, shiniest suit. And he went to all these fancy occasions. In his shiny suit. Like weddings. And baby showers....... ::whispers:: bah mitzvahs..... And he became the fanciest almond. And then......somebody ate him. The end.
..........and the moral of the story is: I farted."

 

:::blank stare:::

(The things this man will say to humor me. Now that's love.)

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